Wednesday, August 21, 2013

.....humble beginnings

We were busy talking about the turmoil in Egypt at a friend's house one evening when  suddenly a friend  appeared and slapped my back.

"Hey Sobah, how are you? I have been wanting to find you but no luck. They said you are now busy running around in Paris, London and New York."

I quickly turned around and found that this is a dear friend during College days whom I have not met for 'I don't know' how many years. Her name is Jamilah and she used to be working with ESSO. I last met her many years ago when she bid farewell to go to Syria to learn intensive Arabic for 4 months.

"Hey....how are you? 'kaifa hal ya ukhty," I said showing off the little Arabic that I know. "You must be kidding about that London New York stunt. I am right here, in Kampung Tunku. I haven't been anywhere close to those places. 

I sat at a corner with her and talked like I have never talked before. She was flipping about on her seat wanting to know more about what I did (or rather did not do) those long years we were apart.

"You were talking about Egypt just now. Do you agree with Morsi?" suddenly she completely change her subject matter."

"Of course ! Why? Dont't you?"

"Yes, I do too. How can one be as strong as he is, controlling and driving forth a revolution in absentee. "

I was just beginning to go full gear talking about this great Statesman when suddenly my husband called me and said it was time to go. I can't argue because it was Maghrib time and he must be at the mosque.

That night I "made" my husband listen to the unfinished stories I needed to tell my friend, Jamilah.

Nobody can be strong without admitting your humble past, your trials and tribulations in life, your disappointments, failed marriages  and other failures etc, etc. You may have fallen  flat to the ground, lived  like a begger, shine shoes to buy your lunch, etc, etc.

Your ego may have been dented several times, your pride washed down the drain and many more. 

But you bounced back, worked hard and finally you walk tall again.

My husband said there are people who are ashamed to tell their unfortunate past, their struggles to actualize the sayings 'from rags to riches' for fear they loose good friends or good contacts in the business world, or good social reputations. These people are not true to themselves let alone being true to friends. They are people who would much rather being known for their successes than their failures. They would like to live their fairy tale lives and hoping that the grass they stepped on would always be green.

But why must we do that ? Why can't we be honest and true at least to a friend you claim to  be dear to yourself.I always tell people at appropriate times that my parents were poor,(indeed very poor), they did menial jobs, missed lunch and sometimes dinner and worked almost like slaves. They were migrants from Indonesia many, many tears ago. They worked hard to put me through school and college. And praises be to God Allah alone that to day we could live above the poverty line.

I know of a friend whose farther was a rubber tapper for many years before he became a teacher in school. This friend only tells about the father was a teacher and never once did she say that her father was also a rubber tapper and had to struggle through life. 

"I tell the world of my less than humble beginnings" in life. I never made it to the top. In fact not anywhere near the top. But I am at peace with my past, fortunate or unfortunate, and happy and thankful about my present, all by the grace of Allah, God almighty.

I think life with secrets is not a peaceful life. One can never be a full person with secrets held close to their chest.  This type of person does not "touch the full reality of one's existence".  Then how can you be real to others....how can you convince others that it is alright  to be less than what you aspire to be and it is also okay to have broken dreams.

Life is not a bed of roses and nor is it always a day of sunshine. And when it rains it is not always that you will see the rainbow above the horizon.

I kept thinking through the nights wondering if my thoughts are right and true.....
And recent events in Egypt made me evaluate more seriously the strength that I . Would I be able to go through the lives of the true Morsi supporters.

How much can I endure the truth of life, churn failures to success and able to tell others of our less than humble beginnings and still able to walk tall.......May god Allah grants me the Wisdom to live life the best way possible, and share the bounties of life with others at large.


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